And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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