well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
