I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
