i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Girls should come with a carfax report
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
