You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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