Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
