No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
is it fun? or sober?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
