I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
