just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize