Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
