And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
