this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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