just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
