if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
