More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
