Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
