I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
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