pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I party with great urgency now.
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