Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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