I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
