Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
