hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
