mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
