The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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