You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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