I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Randomize
