I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
