Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
