Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
