Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
