If i could tip my vagina, i would.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
