if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
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