What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
