everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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