the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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