whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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