pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
