you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
