I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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