i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
