Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
