He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
