Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
