i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize