i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
