if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
whose ass print is on the piano?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
