I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
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