i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
