belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
