what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
